


Sweet Creature

by criesinenochian



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Love at First Sight, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, One Shot, Rey & Rose Tico Friendship, Rey Needs A Hug, Sad Rey (Star Wars), Sad and Sweet, Soft Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/criesinenochian/pseuds/criesinenochian
Summary: Rey is stuck in her life, waiting for something to do besides watch her roommate invite all these people over while she sits alone in her room. When she leaves her room for some water, awkward conversation ensues and a simple glance leads to a knock on her door.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 6
Kudos: 102





	Sweet Creature

TW: mentioned self harm

Rey hasn't left her bed in three days, sat in the same position as usual with her legs tucked criss crossed in front of her, her back arched over her laptop. Rose is convinced she's depressed, not moving for days on end is surely a sign. Rey brushes it off, convincing herself that it's just her enjoying her break. Since she and Rose both lack parents of any family to visit for the holidays, Rose has gotten some fellow loners to hang out around their apartment, always eating and laughing and watching movies. Rey hasn't met any of them, only scrolling through her feed to see how happy other people are and watching movies on her own. Most of the time she just states off into the emptiness of her room, thinking of what it would be like to go home to a family, warm and welcoming. 

Today, she managed to stand up. She felt her knee pop out in a frightening way, but continued on with her mission to sneakily get some water. She always keeps a gallon jug of water in her room, but of course she ran out right when Rose and her millions of friends started watching something they all scream at every few seconds. (Thin walls.) 

Rey wanted to teleport into the kitchen, snatch some water, and flicker back into her room. She needed to avoid any type of conversation because if she didn't, Rose would probably try to set her up with one of the guys she's brought over. All of the friends she's let crash in the living room for break are men. Probably all jocks or somewhat athletic. That's the only crowd of people Rose talks to, she says because they always make her feel comfortable with herself, but Rey thinks it's because they're all jacked. Either way, they were all being merry and joyous in the living room which, naturally, was a room you had to pass through when going to the kitchen. 

Rey took in some deep breaths, pacing back and forth next to her door. She tried not to think of how they would all stare at her like she was a freak, a weirdo. Some kind of shameful creature that they forgot lived here too. Rey wished she wouldn't always get slammed down into a spiral of depression this time of year, but she can't help it. Everyone returns to their families and they always post cute pictures of them smashed into group pictures in front of glorious Christmas trees. Rey was jealous. She wanted that. She wanted to feel secure with some few people who loved and cherished her, but she never would. Yes, Rose was her best friend only because Rose was the first person to treat her like a human and not an estranged rat. 

Rose made her feel protected every day of the year except for the two week break for Christmas. Rey always buried herself in a weighted comforter and sobbed, starved, scrolled, anything but leave within those four walls. That was something she never did. Rey wanted to be social, but she didn't know how. It was something that came across as a difficult task for her, something she had to force most of the time. 

But, at this moment, she had to. Even though she hasn't eaten a real meal in two days, she needed water. Rey breathed in deeply, furrowed her brows and closed her eyes, letting her breath out as she clenched her fists. With her fingernails digging into her palms, she opened her door, walking out slowly and peeking out and around. She heard them all talking and laughing quietly, all probably enthralled in the movie. Rey gulped and walked down the hall, strolling past the group of guys all lazily crowded into the living room. Some were sprawled on the couch and one was on the floor. Rose sat in the lounging chair, her smile gleaming as she watched mindlessly at the tv. Rey glanced over at them and continued to hurriedly walk to the kitchen, trying to quietly open the fridge. 

Her hand reached for the gallon of water, sliding it out and gripping it tight as she closed the fridge, a small clap ringing out from it shutting. Rey paused then kept walking. Just as she had predicted, Rose stopped her, relieved as fuck to see her out of her room. She sat up straight in the chair, pausing the movie, catching all the attention from the guys. They all looked at Rey. 

She knew Finn and Poe, they were the ones Tangled up together on the couch. The guy on the floor had ginger hair and a casually frowning face. She didn't know his name but she had seen him before. And suddenly, she saw this black haired man sit up from laying on the floor, his hair combed back by his shockingly large hand. Rey forced a smile to her face, hoping she didn't look as scrambled and deranged as she felt. Rose smiled too, trying to make her feel calmer. She opened her mouth to talk. 

"Hey." It was dead silent except for Rose's soft voice. Rey glanced around at all the guys again and couldn't help but let her eyes rest on the jet black haired boy, his head tilted as he looked up at her from afar. 

"Oh, right. Rey, this is Finn, Poe, Hux, and Kylo." She nodded to all of them and they waved, Finn smiling towards her. He was always nice to her. He and Poe had been together for about a year now, she knew that, and Rey actually enjoyed when they came around. They always brought this kind of joy and happiness to the apartment. She missed them. 

Her eyes flicked back over to the boy with black hair, Kylo. What a intriguing face, she thought. Rey wanted to step closer and just look at him, admire his features, stand next to him, look at him. He seemed tall with his legs stretched their full length taking up a strip of space on the floor. Rey released her fingernails from her palm and prayed she didn't dig in deep enough to draw blood again. Her hands hurt horribly when that happened. She waved towards them all and walked back toward her room, rushing to check on her palms and take a chug from the water. 

Closing the door slammed shut behind her, she leaned against the door and let out a rough sigh. Rey felt weird. Maybe it was the overall scene, she thought. But no, it was something about the way she looked at Kylo, and the way he curiously looked at her. His face was so intense, yet she wanted to see it again and again and again. 

Rey hissed as she let the gallon of water drop onto her bed, the scrape of it's plastic edge rubbing against her new red, crescent moons on her palms. Damn, she thought, the thing she hoped not to happen. Now her hands would sting with almost every movement. It seemed like a miniscule thing, but it was so bothersome. Rey shrugged, walking into her attached bathroom to pay the blood clean. As she sat down on the floor, the cool tiles felt soothing against her flushed body. She sat in silence until a knock at her door interrupted it, startling Rey from her overthinking thoughts. She slowly stood up and walked to the door, thinking that Rose probably wanted to ask how she was or telling her they would head out to go get some ice cream or something. She opened the door, her breath bitching when she saw the tall boy she had just been thinking about. Kylo. 

"Hi. Um, Rose wanted me to check on you?" He says it more like a question, his eyebrows furrowing and his shoulders tensing up. He seemed so shy. 

"Oh. I'm fine." Rey said, forgetting she had tissues soaking up small droplets of blood from her hands. He glanced down at them and his eyes went wide. Kylo looked back at her. 

"Are you okay? What did you do?" Kylo sounded panicked, almost worried. 

Rey felt her breath come back to her, allowing her to breath in and think of a quick excuse to let her cry in silence. Kylo stood and took up almost the whole doorframe. She liked him being this close for some reason and shook her head at his questions, trying to shake it off. 

"Just a paper cut, I'll be okay." She rushed, her muscles tensing to form a tight smile. Rey looked back up at him, following the scar over his right eye. She wondered where he got that from, something about it giving her a chill. Kylo's gaze focused on the tissues and saw multiple red dots bleed through the white cloth. He looked back at her and stepped into her room, closing the door behind him. Rey gasped and stepped back, pulling her hands closer to her body. 

"Did you do those on purpose?" His voice was drenched in concern and wonder. Rey shrugged, relaxing her body and looking away from him. 

"Yeah." He could barely hear it, but he did. Kylo slowly stepped closer to her and have her a look, asking if he could touch her palms. She gazed at him and nodded. Kylo took her wrist in his hand like it was a fragile baby bird, turning her palm to face up. He pulled the tissue back and sucked in a shallow breath at the sight of her crimson hands. The cuts were shallow but still drew blood, which bothered her completely. She hated when people saw them, anywhere on her body, because she knew that she always forgets they're there and sometimes peek through her clothes or curled fingers. It didn't phase her as harshly this time, though. Kylo was gentle and understanding, not questioning or deeply concerned. 

"Let me help you." He suggested, guiding her into the bathroom by her wrists. Rey followed with a questioning face, wondering why he was doing all this for someone he barely met. 

He sat her down on the toilet top, kneeling down in front her, he took her hands again and wet a piece of tissue to press on her cuts. She hissed at the contact, remaining silent the rest of the time, her face scrunched up so she wouldn't make another noise. Rey didn't want to seem weak. Fragile. 

"Why are you doing this?" 

He stopped and looked back up at her, his eyes holding some kind of pity and depth she couldn't place. Kylo continued to work at her cuts, but she pulled away, waiting for him to look back at her. Rey liked being this close to someone, someone so tall and physically fit, she assumed. (He wore a black sweatshirt but she got the vibe he worked out.) Rey hadn't been this close to anyone since she was walking through a crowd of bustling students rushing to get home. 

Kylo sighed, "I know what you're going through and don't think you should be alone right now." 

"Did Rose give you my whole back story or something? She always explains how sad I get to her friends. Like an explanation to my isolation." Rey talks. Kylo listens. 

"She said you get closed off around Christmas. But, no I saw you clenching her fists with white knuckles and came to check on you." He explains, patting her cuts until they all stopped bleeding. Rey dips her eyebrows, thinking of what he just said. 

"I thought you said she sent you to check on me." She states. Kylo blushes and leans away to throw away the tissue. Rey relaxes her face and they both sit in silence, blushing. Rey knows that she is an attractive girl but she's never thought of anyone else as attractive. Yet, here she is perched across from Kylo, thinking of tracing his cheek and raking her fingers through his hair. It looked so silky and smooth, so dark and soft. Rey swallowed and looked at the floor. 

"So, why aren't you home for the holidays?" Rey starts, clearing her throat before asking the question, trying to keep him this close to her. She leans forward as he leans back, his head and shoulders resting against the wall. He reclines. 

"Um... They, uh, they're dead. I have no home to go to." Kylo states, pursing his lips and stretching his legs out on both sides of the toilet, fidgeting with his fingers. Rey can't believe it. This boy understands her on more than one level and it's refreshing. What else do they have in common?

"Oh. Mine too." She says. 

"Sucks, right?" 

"Yeah, I hate this time of year because of it. Rose tries to make me feel happier, but I don't know... It's hard." Rey explains, feeling relieved to start to unravel and let her hardships and feelings go. Kylo nods up at her, letting both his forearms droop onto his thighs, his head angled to look her directly in the face, his eyes meeting hers. She watches him and stands up from the toilet seat, taking a spot next to him, crossing her legs in front of her with her back against the tub. He adjusts his head, still just looking at her. A small smile greets his lips. 

She blushes and avoids his eyes, wondering what he could possibly be smiling at after they discuss their parents being dead. Rey rolls her lips and tries to the fight the smile she feels crawl into her face, her dimples and everything. 

"What? Is my hair ridiculous or something?" She pats the top of her head absentmindedly and feels for stray hairs. Kylo shakes his head and his smile gets wider, some teeth piercing through. She looks back at him, a smiley shrug leaving her. 

"Then what?" She sounds happily intrigued, impatiently asking him with a playful tone. Rey watches his face, his eyes holding a light and dark accent at the same time. 

"Nothing. It's just, you're very beautiful." 

Rey feels her smile fall into a curious look, bliss clouding her eyes. She scans his eyes, seeing if he was fucking with her or not. Kylo sits forward, curling his legs to stand up, adjusting his sweatpants. (Gray, by the way.) She clears her throat and tries not to fall madly in love with this man she just met. Kylo walks out of the bathroom and glances around her room, looking into all of her stuff in amusement. Rey hurried out, scanning for any bras or crinkled bags of chips. He seemed to find them faster than she did, his eyes widening and darting away. 

"I'm sorry, I'll get out of your way." He blurts, starting to walk to the door. Rey stops him, her hand grasping onto his shoulder, trying to pull him back. The last thing she wants is for him to leave her to sob into her pillow another night. She wanted him to stay. 

"Please stay." 

It sounded desperate and breathy. Kylo turned around and nodded looking over at her bed for a brief second before gazing back down to her. Rey looked back at her bed, walking over to it and sitting down with the comforter and pillows sagging under her weight and curling around her. Kylo shyly steps closer to the bed and sits on the edge, his knees slightly bent and his hair falling over his face as he stares onto the floor. Rey tries to think of something to say, anything to hear him talk again. 

"So, how do you know Rose?" She asks, forcing her voice to be friendly and inviting. Rey could he was almost as shy as she was, avoiding eye contact and not talking much. All familiar to her. She waited for him to speak, to fill the empty air. Kylo takes a deep breath and visibly settles in scooting to face her. 

"We both go to the same coffee shop every Tuesday and eventually talked to each other. Now we're friends. She's one of my only friends, actually." He mumbles the last part, shy to admit it. Rey nods, comparing that to how she met Rose. Kylo exhales a deep breath through his nose and lays back on the bed, his knees bent over the edge. His hair flops out and he props himself up on his elbows. Rey follows his lead and lays on her side. 

"Do you have other... Scars?" His tone is low, weary. 

Rey looks down, not wanting to mention the cuts she's made on her thighs lately because of the hatred she feels for her body. Kylo tumbles onto his side, about a foot and a half away from her, his face expressing sympathy and compassion, somewhat. Rey takes in a breath, thinking that it'd be better if she talked this all out instead of bottling up all of her emotions or inflicting her hurt on her body. She never really liked doing it, but each time of year, all of her stress and anxiety and sadness piled up, hitting her hard on Christmas break. She nodded meekly at him. 

Kylo's face scrunched in defeat, a pained look. He reached out and took her hand in his, careful as not to grab harshly at her scarred hands. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss to the insides of each palm, his lips brushing against the scars. She wanted to cry. It was a small movement, a kind kiss to her cut palms, but she felt inside that it was much more. He wanted to heal her through his kisses and take all of her pain away. Kylo said that he understood what she was feeling, so maybe he had scars, too, she thought. Rey smiled a sad smile and grabbed the edge of her balled up comforter, spreading it gracefully over herself and offering some to Kylo. He slid closer to her, respectfully not too close. 

She threw part of the other side to him and they adjusted comfortably under the cover. The weighted blanket was heaven. Truly. Heaven. Rey knew that if she hadn't owned this blanket, she would certainly not be held up in her room for days on end (maybe), but it made her feel like she was being held in someone's arms so of course she bought it. It's something she will never not use now that she has. 

Rey is unfamiliar with having a whole man in her bed beside her. It's not uncomfortable, per say, just a strange feeling. She wants to stay up talking to him for hours and hours, just pouring all her opinions and sad thoughts and conspiracies into conversation, but she also wants to sleep by him. Moreover, she wants to be held by him. Rey really wants to comb through his hair and listen to the sounds he makes, scratch lightly at his back and watch him relax into her, kiss his lips... She sighs, tucking her knees up into her chest and closing her eyes, deciding that she can wake up to the bed alone or his sleeping face. 

Moments after that, a hand traces her jaw, followed by a hushed sigh, low and breathy. Rey is almost asleep so she pays no attention to this, until he mumbles, "Good night, Rey." 

She smiles, scooting herself closer to him, his warmth and large frame. Rey wants him to wrap his arms around her, securing her from any dangers or sadness, holding her steady. He grabs the back of her hand and they fall asleep nearly five inches apart, hands resting atop one another, and breaths lightly wafting onto each other's cheeks. They both dream of faraway places and distant memories tangled together. Somehow through the night, Rey had pushed herself completely into Kylo's chest, draping her right arm over his side. He had had his arm underneath her head, used as a pillow or for more support, either way it was numb by now. 

She was the first to wake up, her eyes meeting his black sweatshirt first. She didn't try to hold back the natural smile creeping up onto her face, happy that he didn't manage to sneak out of her room and go back to where he probably wanted to be: the living room. Rose most likely assumed this very thing had happened, she has some kind of sixth sense for this kind of stuff and Rey was somewhat predictable. She breathed in, taking in his scent, storing it in her mind forever, holding onto this moment. He smelled like the forest, very earthy and strong accents of some pine tree smell. It was good. Rey used her arm draped over his side to let her hand scratch at his back, her nails probably barely noticeable. 

He moans out a sigh while in his sleep, the muscles in his back coiling up and letting go. Maybe he did feel it then, she thought. Rey continued to do this until his eyes fluttered open, his hair covering his face in gathered locks. He used his used-to-be-numb-but-now-it's-tingly arm to brush off the hair from his face, blinking hard to get the sleep out of his eyes. Rey sits up, lazily yawning and keeping her hand pressed on his side, casually just laying there. 

"I had the weirdest dreams." Rey started, her voice coated in that low, sleepy tone. Kylo rubbed at his eyes and laid still looking up at her. His hand fell on hers and he toyed his fingers with hers, rubbing his thumb over her wrist smoothly. 

"Oh?" He asked, inviting her to say more. Rey nodded and sat comfortably, her knees curled and her shins lightly up against his stomach. 

"Yeah, so for some reason, you were there and we were racing each other on scooters." 

Kylo's brows knitted together but he kept watching her, waiting for the rest of her strange dream telling. He looked up at her, gazing hopelessly onto her face with such big heart eyes, he could feel them. Rey was using her hands now to illustrate the dreams, but all he saw was her dimples when she smiled wide, the way her eyes go all big when she forgets something, her fingers constantly tucking hair behind her ear, all these little things. Kylo smiled at her, his grin small but meaningful. He could tell that this wouldn't be the last time he would lay in her bed and listen to her ramble on about her dreams. 

"So, yeah. I don't know where you went, but then I was just walking for a while," she trailed off, seeing he was mindlessly staring at her with such a soft look. "Anyways, what did you dream about?" 

He shakes his head, the smile never fading, not even in the slightest. Rey makes a suspicious face, questioning if he did but won't tell her or truly doesn't remember. Either way, she was overjoyed that he's still here, laying in her bed with her, listening to her as she talked and talked and talked. She felt bad for rambling on in front of him, possibly scaring off the one guy she might have potential with. He yawns and stretches his arm under a pillow, closing his eyes and looking content as he started to fall back asleep. 

Rey smiled, using her fingers to comb the hair out of his face, marveling at the immense softness of each jet black lock. She then took her pillow and again, tucked herself into his front, falling asleep happily.

**Author's Note:**

> :)))


End file.
